I am a newlywed! On May 25th , after a long and arduous journey, I got married to the
love of my life. My bishop consecrated me to the Lord Jesus as his bride. I am a
consecrated virgin, living in the world.

My path to this vocation was not exactly straightforward. I came to know and love the
Lord as a teenager, but my earliest intimations of my vocation seemed to point to
marriage and motherhood.

A few days after breaking off a two-year relationship, I had a powerful encounter with
the Lord in which I heard him say to me, “I have set you aside Carole for a special
relationship with myself.” There were no further instructions, so I didn’t interpret it as a
call to consecrated life. Nevertheless, that experience left a deep impression, and I
wondered about it often. A year or so later I fell madly in love. We got engaged. This
time we both found ourselves in turmoil. I turned out that he was called to be a priest! I
assumed I hadn’t met “the right guy”. I tried to pray about consecrated life from time to
time, but this too brought desolation.

In spite of a great deal of prayer about it, I was unable to resolve the vocational question
for many years. Then, during a period of stress and a struggle with insomnia, I started
devoting my undesired “awake” time to prayer. One morning I was praying the Rosary,
and on the third sorrowful mystery, the image of the Lord crowned with thorns suddenly
became a very vivid interior vision. He seemed to gaze at me with great intensity, as
though longing to receive my love. My heart was drawn to him, moved with the desire
to give him the love that he so desired. I understood then that the Lord’s love for me
was spousal, and that my heart was reciprocating. Miraculously, I no longer desired to
be married to anyone else. But I still was not attracted to consecrated life.

As time went on, the sense of our mutual spousal love grew deeper. I started asking
the Lord if there was anything else he wanted to say to me about this. One day, a friend
texted. She felt that she had received a word for me at Mass: “Surrender.” Later that
day, I was looking through my journal and found those moments when I was asking the
Lord for clarity. Finally, I opened my heart to the possibility. The first thing I heard was
“You did not choose me, I chose you.” And I remembered his words to me: “I have set
you aside for a special relationship with myself.” Then, the scripture passage from
Matthew 19 came to mind, when Jesus first opened up the possibility of celibacy for the
sake of the kingdom. “Not all can receive this, but those who can receive it should.”
And it dawned on me that, since I no longer desired to be married to anyone else, I am
among those who can. So perhaps I should!

The only form of consecrated life that seemed to fit was consecrated virginity lived in the
world. This is the oldest form of consecrated life for women in the Church, predating the
emergence of religious communities. Once the convents were established, the
consecration of virgins was reserved only to nuns—until 1971 when the Rite for the
Consecration of Virgins living in the world was re-introduced.

Upon realizing that the Lord was serious about having me for his bride, I reached out to
my bishop to begin a formal discernment. He established a program of formation for
me, and I began to study the vocation of consecrated virginity more intentionally. I was
truly astonished by its beauty and theological depth–and even more astonished that the
Lord was offering this exquisite vocation to me!

My wedding day was beautiful. I wore a beautiful bridal gown, received a beautiful
wedding ring, and a wore a beautiful veil. The bishop sang a long and beautiful
consecratory prayer over me. And I gave my life to Jesus in the fullest sense of the
word—as his very own bride.

And this virgin made merry and danced! (Jeremiah 31:13)
As a priest is “in persona Christi”, the consecrated virgin is “in persona Ecclesia”. The
whole church is the Bride of Christ, but the consecrated virgin lives this reality in an
intensely concrete personal way.

No one is “recruited” for consecrated virginity. This calling and this consecration are
received “passively”. I could not bring myself to this vocation by my own choice. The
Lord had to reveal his choice of me to me, and confirm it with the surprising discovery
that this was what I wanted too!

I do not wear a habit. I do not live in community. I pray the liturgy of the hours daily
with the Church. I earn my own living—or rather, the Lord provides a living for me! And
I fall more in love with him every day.
It turns out, I wasn’t wrong. I am called to marriage, and to (spiritual) motherhood. I just
had to find the right guy!